When Your Child Is Bullied

1. Talk to your child

• Discuss your feelings openly and honestly with your child.
• Encourage him to tell you how they feel.
• Ask him to share their ideas and feelings.
• Be patient and listen to your child.
• Ask questions sensitively. Do not interrogate.
• Tell your child that he did the right thing by talking to you about what happened.
• Take your child seriously.

2. Ask your child what support or action he wants from you.

• Does he want you to talk to the teacher?
• Does he want to learn words and ways to deal with the bully on his own?
• Don’t make promises you can’t keep, such as that you will keep bullying a secret. You want to build your child’s trust.
• Don’t take any action before discussing it with your child.
• Reassure your child that you are on his side and that you will help him deal with the problem.

3. Let your child know bullying is WRONG! No one deserves to be bullied or teased.

• Let your child know it is NOT his fault.
• Let your child know the bully does not pick on him for something the child does, rather the bully picks on him because of the way the bully feels.

4. Teach your child how to stand up for himself.

• Practice assertiveness techniques.
• Have your child practice saying “NO” firmly and then walk away from the bully.
• Help your child think of simple responses to the bully’s most frequent taunts: i.e. Look the bully in the eye and say in a loud voice “Why are you picking on me?” or “Stop doing that, I don’t like it!” (Maybe have parents suggest a few others)
• Do NOT tell your child to hit back verbally or physically, that reinforces that aggression is acceptable.

5. Encourage your child to minimize opportunities for bullying.

• Don’t take valuable possessions to school.
• Don’t be the last one in the changing room or bathroom.
• Don’t linger alone in the hallways.
• Stay with a group even if they aren’t your friends.
• If you discover your child is often a victim, observe how your child reacts to people.

6. Expand your child’s world

• Help your child to develop new social skills through role play.
• Help your child expand his circle of friends.
• Invite other children over to play.
• Arrange outings with adult supervision.